Recently over at Roland’s Ramblings he wrote about his dad, did you read it? For those of you that missed it, here is the link to the post. This is the part I want to address today,
“While some people might not want anything to do with a father who wasn’t around during their childhood, I did not have a problem with including my father in my adult life.
After that initial get together in the spring of 1971, my father and I bonded quickly and easily. The love was there without either of ever having to say anything about how or why. We did so many things together; it was absolutely amazing and wonderful. I visited my father almost every Saturday morning, along with other visits, a few travel trailer camping excursions, and several short road trips, for 13 years until his sudden CVA death in April 1984.”
He could have just as easily not wanted anything to do with his dad, but that was not how Roland lived his life! He is like most people, we raise our kids to learn lessons from our actions. Roland passed his values along to his kids. I tried to pass my values down to my kids as well. I hate to admit we did not accomplish this very well. I spent so many hours with my parents and grandparents. My kids always loved being around them, staying with them, calling them just to say hi! Fast forward to today and here is my partial list of who doesn’t spend time with us or want anything to do with us. Both my kids and their spouses have disowned us, they have 7 kids between them, 5 of them don’t have anything to do with us! One Grandson will only text me if I text him first. The one Grand daughter who still loves me, really cares about me. She texts me, sends me photo’s of her and her husband. Who I adore by the way, he is so good to both Roland and me! I have a “sister” who has written us off along with their 3 kids! More nieces and nephews have cast us aside as well. What we have found out is that we are not the only elders who are living this hell. It is more common today then it was when we grew up in the 50’s and 60’s! It doesn’t make it hurt any less but it does lend a shoulder to cry on with others in the same boat. I would never abandon my ship (kids) I still am treading water looking for that glimmer of hope!!! One day, maybe, I’ll see them all again!